.. Or not.

Remember that post where I talked about starting to get used to Graves Disease and ptsd-like symptoms? Yeah?

Seems like I was wrong.

I worried too much about a possible relapse, had nightmares about relapsing and subsequently started failing exams left and right. I'm an idiot.

Public Service Announcement : Never underestimate a disease, because it can affect you in so many ways..

So here I am. Bitter and disappointed that this happened and that I was underestimating those things again. Back to dealing with a depression where my brain seems to be intent on self-destructing and drags up unwelcome memories of my so-so past.

Public Service Announcement 2: Do not shame, hit or abuse your kids in any other ways even if it's to improve their academics. Because one in so many kids ends up like me: miserable and trying not to give into the urge to drag a blade across all of their arteries.

Are you serious?

Ever heard about asthma? That weird affliction where sometimes the airways of a person decide to spasm and choke the life out of the person they're supposed to supply oxygen to?
It's supposedly unpleasant as hell to have (I do not have it, but I do know people who have it). 
People have compared it the hellish feeling of having to run around while breathing in and out through a straw (go try it, it sucks).

Link

Hate hate hate double hate

Wonderful movie, by the way.

I HATE MY THYROID!
I HATE THIS FUCKING DISEASE!
Why is it giving me hair loss and making me feel like I could go berserk in a split second?! I feel psychotic without the psychotic break!
Hell, call me shallow, but I absolutely do not like it when my hair is getting so thin that I might pass as an unhealthy hobo.

Stupid thyroid, stupid pills. Don't give me extremely unpleasant-and-ridiculous symptoms which aren't dangerous enough for me to stop.
Either don't give me those stupid symptoms and shut up, or give me some dangerous side-effect so that I can switch therapies. Or die.

Found on Wolfpackdopiiz' page

I WILL MURDER YOU!

Yes. Even medical students and doctors will sometimes reach that point where they're done with being nice and transition to wanting to kill someone. I reached that point the day before yesterday, and today, again.
It doesn't help that I'm having my period and am still slightly hyperthyroid.

Hyperthyroidism Quote #1

Random person: 
"You're hyperthyroid? Oh, lucky you.. You're losing weight and looking skinny without even having to work for it.. I want to have hyperthyroidism too!"

Post-class/internship/godknowswhat essays..

That moment when you're pretty much done with exams and lectures, and such and so classes want you to write an essay before the end of the academical year..

Class: LET ME LOVE YOU!

Me: LEAVE ME ALONE! *Runs*

EXAM STRESS

Not.

Things Med Students Hate.. #2

Failing a test.

Graves' Disease.. Part 4: Am I ill, or not?

I'm taking meds to freeze my thyroid gland in it tracks, to make sure it doesn't produce anymore thyroid hormone, as well as meds to push my heart rate back down.
The problem is that my meds can wither away my white blood cells - leaving me with a lacking defense against bacteria and the likes.
Thats why my endo explicitly ordered me to go to my hospital to get my blood checked anytime I get a fever, sore throat or the likes.

Things Med Students Hate.. #1

Nitpicking professors.

Graves' Disease.. Part 2: Insanity

The funny thing about this situation is that I'm more likely to stand up for myself.
The less funny thing is that I'm more likely to use violence in doing so.

Graves' Disease.. Part 1

A few days ago, I posted about me diagnosing myself with hyperthyroidism, cause unknown as of then.
It was Graves' Disease, also called Graves-Basedow, because those two people described the disease a long time ago.

It's essentially an auto-immune disease where my body thinks something fishy is going on and decides to create antibodies to something. This 'something' isn't known yet, but the antibodies stimulate my thyroid gland so that it creates more thyroid hormone than is necessary.

When my endocrinologist called me, I already had an inkling as to why my thyroid was going into overdrive. Graves disease is the most common cause for hyperthyroidism, and since I couldn't be all too special, I had to have some common things as well, right?
We had discussed my chances of having Graves Disease during our first appointment and came to an agreement that it was.. well. Quite high. 

Med Student become Patient..

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Thyroid Gland.

Did I tell you guys how happy I get when I make the right diagnosis? I get very smug and I'll wear a smug smirk on my face for the rest of the day if I get one right.

Are you kidding me? Really?

Today.. I found out that two Muslim students sued a medical school (Erasmus Universitair Medisch Centrum, Rotterdam) over peer physical exam practise.
The complaint..
Muslim ladies are not supposed to bare their bodies to men who are not their husband.
So these ladies didn't want to let male medical students practice physical exams on them.
..
There are few things which can make me absolutely furious, but this is one of them.

English article here: link

Physiology..

Dat feeling..

I spy I spy..

A horde of Y1s (first-year meds of a 6-year traject) bitching about learning physical exams in med school.
Yes, I'm not a Y1, but I planted a spy in Y1, who alerted me to the issue of ladies not wanting to be practiced on by male students during their Anatomy block.
Reasons for this are shyness around males, or religious beliefs.
Similarly, some male students do not want to practice on females because of the same reasons.

Seriously?

You're in fucking Medical School. You're one lucky bastard to get into medical school, now don't be a prude and don't ruin medical education with religious beliefs. Learning how to save lives includes physical exam, and hiring simulating patients for practicing physical exams on is ridiculously expensive. (that being said, if I got paid for getting practiced on, I would totally do it).

So suck up and deal with it.

YES! This!

Thank you, pediatrician who put this up, and thank you, Redditor who posted it!

This is a rant post, specifically aimed at anti-vaxxers. Do not read if you don't like pro-vaxxers, because I am one. If you keep reading this, you might get your feelings hurt (not like I'd particularly care about crushing your anti-vaxx ideas, but I like to pretend I'm nice)

<3

うるさい, ばかやろう!

(Title: Urusai, bakayaro! Japanese for "Shut up, (you) idiot!")

There are several things I absolutely detest..