.. Or not.

Remember that post where I talked about starting to get used to Graves Disease and ptsd-like symptoms? Yeah?

Seems like I was wrong.

I worried too much about a possible relapse, had nightmares about relapsing and subsequently started failing exams left and right. I'm an idiot.

Public Service Announcement : Never underestimate a disease, because it can affect you in so many ways..

So here I am. Bitter and disappointed that this happened and that I was underestimating those things again. Back to dealing with a depression where my brain seems to be intent on self-destructing and drags up unwelcome memories of my so-so past.

Public Service Announcement 2: Do not shame, hit or abuse your kids in any other ways even if it's to improve their academics. Because one in so many kids ends up like me: miserable and trying not to give into the urge to drag a blade across all of their arteries.

Patience, my fellow butterflies..

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 It took me bloody 10 months to feel like I'm back to the good ol' me. Sorts of.*
10 months of taking thyroid blocking medication, and later on synthetic thyroid hormones. And that was when my symptoms weren't as severe as those of other thyroid patients. Or at least, that's what I try to believe. Or maybe I'm just not as much of a complainer compared to other patients.

Plague Inc - Creepy Soundtracks (to study to)

I'm one of the people who can study in absolute silence, but who prefers to study to a nice song or some background noise. My favourites are rain (and thunder), night sounds, Harry Potter ambients, and Plague Inc soundtracks. Don't ask me why.

One of the things I've always liked about Plague Inc. and its computer version (Evolved) is the music. It's fitting. Creepy. A little dark. Just perfect.
And it's only €4,99. Alternatively, you could also look up the songs on youtube and throw them in a repeat list.
But hey, €5 isn't that much. Why not support them? ;)

(No, I do not get any ka-ching for writing this. Sadly.)

Oh Tumblr..

I might just love you. Really.

I was taking a break from studying (seriously, sometimes I just want to run away from med school and spend the rest of my days lazing around beneath a palm tree, drinking yummy cocktails and ogling pretty handsome guys..), and I decided to spend some time on Tumblr.
 

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My Graves' Disease isn't making things easy for me at the moment - med school is hard enough even without a chronic illness to drag you down, but add the constant alertness for any signs of an infection*, depression, body image issues and everything that comes hand-in-hand with Graves' Disease, and you're in for a rough ride.

Psych: Go!

Psychiatry starts this week. I really liked my mini-rotation in psych, so I hope the block is going to be awesome as well!

Are you serious?

Ever heard about asthma? That weird affliction where sometimes the airways of a person decide to spasm and choke the life out of the person they're supposed to supply oxygen to?
It's supposedly unpleasant as hell to have (I do not have it, but I do know people who have it). 
People have compared it the hellish feeling of having to run around while breathing in and out through a straw (go try it, it sucks).

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Practicing neuro exam..

Practicing neuro exams on our classmates..

Professor & classmate: *Hits my knee with the hammer*
Me: 

No, not THAT lively. Lively enough though.

Me: *Tests patellar reflex on classmate*
Classmate: ... (*Nothing happens*)
Me: ..? *Tries again*
*Nothing happens*
Me: 

Just my luck to have super lively reflexes that are good enough to show for demonstrations and are good to practice with, only to end up practicing with a classmate with virtually absent reflexes. The hell..